My Wonderful Memory of This Summer
October 9, 2007 
I went camping with pretty children aged from seven to nine and numerous staffs of university students for two days in Awaji Island.
We and children did orienteering around the camp site. Children cooked curry rice for themselves at dinner of the first day. We did nothing but help cooking a little. We enjoyed campfire at night of the first day. We enjoyed some games and sang a song together at the campfire. And children made decorated nameplate made of bamboo at the second day in remembrance of this camp.
This camp got the most wonderful memory of this summer for us and children!!
秋学期、夏休み明けの添削開始です。
> I went camping with pretty children aged from seven to nine and numerous staffs of university students for two days in Awaji Island.
pretty vs. cute vs. young vs. small vs なし
ちょっと誤解を招くので「なし」が良さそう。
> We and children did orienteering around the camp site.
Children were guided to take/ conduct orienteering
> Children cooked curry rice for themselves at dinner of the first day.
They cooked
on the first day
> We did nothing but help cooking a little.
We helped them very little so that they can do it by themselves.
> We enjoyed campfire at night of the first day.
a campfire
on the first night
> We enjoyed some games and sang a song together at the campfire.
singing songs
enjoy xxx and xxxx –> parallel is smarter?
> And children made decorated nameplate made of bamboo at the second day in remembrance of this camp.
On the second day, children enjoyed making
nameplate vs. nameplates
> This camp got the most wonderful memory of this summer for us and children!!
got vs. gave vs. is vs. was
paralelの構文がテンポを良くします。その工夫が見られます。印刷清書して提出できると思います。添削が追加されるかも知れませんが。。。
Sorry for my typo: parallel