Values of long summer vacations
October 25, 2007 
I think that one long summer vacation is better than several short vacations throughout the year.
One long summer vacation requires students to act on their own initiative. In other words they can do what they want to do. They can experience traditional events of July and August. They can work on the most interesting things for themselves. They can also travel home to see relatives. In particular the Bon Festival in Japan is significant. It is a traditional event of Buddhism. Then relatives enshrine their ancestors.
Many experiences in one long summer vacations get students to grow up. This is significant for students’ life.
You have not discussed the de-merits of shorter vacation, fully, yet?? If a vacation is shortened around Bon-festival, then your argument towards the end is weak.
> I think that one long summer vacation is better than several short vacations throughout the year.
Good thesis or topic sentence. You can add a couple more to this leading sentence.
> One long summer vacation requires students to act on their own initiative.
First of all, one long summer xxx
requires –> here in your argument ‘enable’s might be better?
> In other words they can do what they want to do.
In oher words, they can learn to be autonomous, by deciding what they want to do, and carrying out their own goals or tasks in a long vacation.
> They can experience traditional events of July and August.
In Japan, they can enjoy traditional events
of –> in July xxx
> They can work on the most interesting things for themselves.
things v.s. projects
> They can also travel home to see relatives.
their relatives
> In particular the Bon Festival in Japan is significant.
significant –> awkward here?
> It is a traditional event of Buddhism.
> Then relatives enshrine their ancestors.
Then –> awkward
> Many experiences in one long summer vacations get students to grow up.
get –> enables
> This is significant for students’ life.
significant –> essential, meaningful??
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