TV or Not TV ?
November 18, 2007 
TV is a major part of our culture. For many people it is a company and constant presence in their lives. But we need to think about television’s influence on us individually, and on our society. Despite its great presence in our lives, few people have a deep understanding of its influence. Think how little we know about television.
The advantage of television is that what we can see images from far away places.
The disadvantage is that TV shows us only popular programs which we want to watch. In fact it is shallow dramas and variety shows. It is the solution to become wiser media consumers and need programs which will help us learn about the world. If so, Shallow dramas and variety shows will disappear soon.
That is why TV can have educational value!
> TV is a major part of our culture.
is v.s. consisutes
> For many people it is a company and constant presence in their lives.
What does ‘it’ refer to?
TV is tricky — it could mean a set, programs, or media.
Clarify.
> But we need to think about television’s influence on us individually, and on our society.
I do not understand ‘individually.’
> Despite its great presence in our lives, few people have a deep understanding of its influence.
OK
> Think how little we know about television.
OK
> The advantage of television is that what we can see images from far away places.
Exapnd this second paragraph more. You would need more than 3 sentences for this paragraph. Compare with the 3rd paragraph. It is simply unbalanced.
> The advantage of television is that what we can see images from far away places.
We can enjoy sceneries and their images which we can never travel or touch, などなど
> The disadvantage is that TV shows us only popular programs which we want to watch.
The disadvantage, on the other hand, is that
use a connective, wisely.
TV often broadcast only the programs which the public want to watch
> In fact it is shallow dramas and variety shows.
what does ‘it’ refer to?
> It is the solution to become wiser media consumers and need programs which will help us learn about the world.
What does ‘it’ refer to?
We need not only entertaining programs but also xxxx
> If so, Shallow dramas and variety shows will disappear soon.
What is the logic of ‘If so,…’?
> That is why TV can have educational value!
That is why? –> not in good logic, or flow.