TV or Not TV?
December 31, 2007 
TV constitutes a major part of our culture. For many people TV media is constant presence in their lives. Despite its great presence in our lives, few people have a deep understanding of its influence. Think how little we know about television. Let us consider television’s influence on us, and on our society.
The advantage of television is that we can see images from far away places. We can not only enjoy sceneries and their images of places which we can never travel to or touch but also store knowledge of many fields through TV images.
The disadvantage, on the other hand, is that TV often broadcasts only the programs which the public want to watch. In fact, some are shallow dramas and variety shows. What we need is not only enjoying but also choosing programs which will help us learn about the world. As the solution, governments should tax broadcast. And they should use this tax as subsidies to help making programs that will satisfy our real needs.
As the conclusion, TV has much educational potentials!
> TV constitutes a major part of our culture.
> For many people TV media is constant presence in their lives.
OK
> Despite its great presence in our lives, few people have a deep understanding of its influence.
OK
> Think how little we know about television.
OK
> Let us consider television’s influence on us, and on our society.
OK
> The advantage of television is that we can see images from far away places.
OK
> We can not only enjoy sceneries and their images of places which we can never travel to or touch but also store knowledge of many fields through TV images.
their images of –> the images
which we can never travel to –> where we can never trave
“touch” –> collocation weak with sceneries
“touch” requires objects, not places or sceneries
It would be best to delete ‘touch’ here.
If you want to include ‘touch,’ then, you would introduce some examples where we can explore and experience some objects under the oceans…?
> The disadvantage, on the other hand, is that TV often broadcasts only the programs which the public want to watch.
TV companies/ stations broadcast
which they think the public want to watch
> In fact, some are shallow dramas and variety shows.
In reality, most of the TV programs end up with rather shallow dramas and variety shows.
> What we need is not only enjoying but also choosing programs which will help us learn about the world.
enjoying –> entertainment
but also educational progrmas which will help us
> As the solution, governments should tax broadcast.
tax –> support!!??
educational programs
> And they should use this tax as subsidies to help making programs that will satisfy our real needs.
government should support educational programs, by collecting subsribtion fees or taxes from the viewers
> As the conclusion, TV has much educational potentials!
In colncluion
has –> can have
足りないと議論しているので、工夫しだいで増やせるというのがポイントでしょう。
これでオンラインのweb blog経由の添削も終わりでしょうね。ご苦労様でした。
実は、昨年12月の最終授業あたりから体調不調で不覚にも冬休みは「休養」となっていました。顔面、特に、右眼にはれがあり添削どころかメールもチェックできない状態でした。幸い、年末には峠を越してほぼ完治の状態です。
詳しくは次を参照ください。
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=d3vcpbd_780hs6gjnd4